A guide for older women dating younger men
He sees her as an exotic world of already great experience and she's so interesting and fascinating that he gets a whole lot from that and he deosn't have to put up with a lot of added things young men find when they date young women. They already know where they're at and what they want. It's all relative; if they're dating younger they tend to feel that that is what they're called.
Like, of course, the first time they go to bed: Well, when are we going to pick out the china pattern? Whereas it might have started out as a bit of a derogatory term, it isn't at all. I've lived all over Europe and I ended up in the Channel Islands, just off the North coast of France, and from there came to Canada.
Even though this is a fun book with this idea that the women are predatory, it's always the young men that chase the older women. It was as simple as that: Go find a profession that was more suited to women. Then you've got the whole thing, well like condoms. Now there's the etiquette of condoms: when to get them and what to do.
The whole idea is that this book, basically, offers options to older women, I think.
It could be very techie, it could be music, it could be anything. [Laughs] He was in Canada and I was there and I came over to be with him.
According to Valerie Gibson, the relationships columnist for The Toronto Sun, and a self-acknowledged pioneer cougar, we have not. I really get very angry that older women are sort of told that they're not valuable. And I say: Excuse me, I hate to burst your bubble [Laughs] but I can tell you for sure that it goes rolling on. I must say, it's a weird thing -- and it's really just how it works out -- but I never date or have married any man with children. And what a smart girl: she didn't just keep going because he was so handsome, she just said: It's not right for me. Meeting people is a matter of personality and wanting to meet people. My father wouldn't let me move out of the house at all unless I was married. The fact that he was bisexual has got nothing to do with it. I would have married the first one and I might have married the fifth one. And if they've got any sense they won't marry you, because you're a bad wife.
Don't you think though that, for either gender, it's difficult to form a strong bond with someone a lot older or younger than you, because you do share life experience? But you see whereas a lot of people see that as a detriment, I see it as a positive. I love the generation gap because you get the best of both worlds.
The older woman learns from the younger man a helluva lot about what's happening in his world, which could be quite different from hers.
Their attitudes are very stale and they're often jaded by life. [Laughs] Because I'm quite a bit older than that age group. And finally they let me write up dog shows and baby shows and funerals, you know. And it's no good giving a stock answer: What you're doing is wrong, therefore you should do this. And our experiences seem to change a great deal, but often don't very much at all. Humans don't change: they want to be cherished, they want to be loved. And also the problem is they expect it to happen like that [she snaps her fingers]. [Laughs] Well, hello: you're not going to be able to date Mel Gibson. And I know a lot about people and relationships because I went out there and did it. They're intelligent and they really have that essence of vitality about them. I'm sure some of our readers would want to know: Where are you meeting all these guys? I'm not sure that a lot of young women really like men. They want a home or they want a family or they want some money or they want a lifestyle. And men and relationships -- or getting relationships -- is a lot of work. Do your attitudes strain your relationships with other women? Funnily enough, and I don't know why it is, but I have as many women friends and fans as I do men, because I like women too. That you can [spend time] with a man you have no intention of having a relationship with or dating and have a lovely, lovely evening. Is there underlying sexuality always in a male/female relationship? I've told these women when they write and say: Well, I go out with my friends and we never meet guys. Go out with one friend or go out on your own and you'll meet whoever you like because they won't go into a group.
They may have three or four children, two ex-wives and all that and -- just like the older men who turn around and see the women in that situation sometimes -- we say: That's not quite what I want. They may have their own companies or something: just very vital and aware and got an attitude, if you like. I tend to say I'm an older cougar teaching younger cougars the tricks. The lowest of the lowest of the low, what was known as a copy boy. There was no college things in those days: you couldn't go to college or university for journalism, you learned on the job. Historically, our emotional selves are essentially always the same, I think. This is an instant society, they want instant gratification, they meet you and say: There's no chemistry. But whatever it is, they've got this expectation level and men are confused: What do women want? Which would you rather have: someone who'd been married to one person for 50 years having never ever dated telling you how to go about your dating life or whatever? I get asked that all the time, but I never have a problem. My last boyfriend used to ponder that and say: Women like you. Anymore than a woman will walk up to a group of men and say: I like you.