No butterflies when dating
Further, this emotion fades relatively quickly, and does not predict whether a couple will have a loving and successful marriage.
We've all seen movies and read novels that describe "love" in terms of "fireworks," "butterflies in the stomach," thinking about each other every minute, and blindly idealizing each other.
You should look forward to the times that you get together, and experience a feeling of contentment to have that person in your life. You should want to spend a lot of time together, and gradually look forward to the idea of being together as a couple on a long-term basis. There are other important elements to a courtship that point to the potential for a loving and stable marriage.
Recently, Sarah had met a man who was very interested in exploring a relationship with her, but she didn't feel that attracted to him. Either they were commitment phobics or they just weren't what she was looking for.
When Sarah met Louisa's husband at the school's Christmas party, she was totally disappointed.
Yes, some people experience fireworks and butterflies, but they are signs of infatuation, which is based on "chemistry" rather than on really knowing another person. Sometimes, two people who experience this intensity when they first meet replace that feeling with a true emotional connection.
However, the majority of successful dating couples don't start out this way.
When I heard Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City say, "Some people are settling down, some are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies," I felt compelled to write this chapter.